AntarctiGROW™: From Snow to Sow

Experience the Freshness of the Last Frontier!

With all the news about melting glaciers in my primeline I thought I’d fire up the janky time machine and point it to a future Antarctic timeline, or to be more precise, the Not-So-Antarctic-anymore.

I decided to tour the iceless jet-ski utopia. And let me tell you, it's hot! Like, literally hot. Once an untouched canvas of glacial solitude, Antarctica is now a bustling tropical paradise with bright sandy beaches, and not a polar bear in sight¹.

I stopped by a farmer's market to get a drink and what did I find, among the stalls selling sunblock at SPF 5000 and freshly grilled Krill burgers? A vendor hawking jars filled with...wait for it...Antarctic soil. Yep, not a souvenir penguin in sight, but hey, a jar of topsoil for $300 a pop.

What can I say, it's not every day you find yourself haggling over a jar of dirt in a tropical Antarctica. But then again, in my line of work, every day is anything but ordinary.

1. I know they're actually in the North Pole, I’m trolling for comment correctors. Come at me Bro!