My birthday is coming up and I’ve been itching to get my hands on one of these follow’y spotlightl’y drone things. As expected, I hopped into the janky time machine and warped straight to B&H a few years down the road to pick one up.

Once landed, after I parked, it was clear to me that this future-fangled tech is only a good idea in theory. I thought my ears were buzzing from breaking the wormhole’s speed limit, but it was in fact the din of these drones. Everywhere. Established influencers and wannabes were meandering every street and alley, looking great and being annoying. I even saw an unattended dog having a glow-up with a squirrel.

Am I gonna get one of these things? Heckin’ yes I am. But I promise to be over it once the trend begins to emerge in our primeline.