Rub On Some Real Range

This battery ointment promises to go the extra mile

My good pal Julian over at the Near Future Laboratory sent me this really nice gift for the janky time machine. He knows I’ve been racking up the miles—sometimes I don’t know if it’s got the juice to make it all the way to the next destination. But thanks to this super sticky and stinky stuff, it’s giving me the extra mileage required.

Don’t knock it because you saw the Twitchfomercial. You need to see past the smarmy pitchman and know that this stuff is the real deal. This is more Flextape than Flowbee. It works.

Also, this is not a paid endorsement. Use at your own risk. This is intended for temporal ion batteries made after 2037 … do not apply to lithium iron phosphate cells.

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