Move over Marvel. There's a new MCU in town.

The Mattel Cinematic Universe dominates box office records.

In my primeline, Mattel is on the verge of dropping their Barbie flick. Little do they know, it's set to be their "Iron Man," their bedazzled, pink-glittering catalyst, turning the film industry on its head and marking the beginning of an era dominated by interlinked toy franchises instead of muscle-packed superhero sagas.

The lengths I've gone to in order to enjoy these cinematic wonders! My janky time machine has whizzed me through countless timelines just so I can catch every installment of this toy-epic series in an honest-to-goodness, popcorn-stench-filled theater. You see, I'm a purist, a cinephile who demands the real McCoy - the "filmed on 70mm, actual footage on IMAX" kind of experience, none of that soulless digital, "Lie-MAX" nonsense for me, thank you very much!

Some highlight include:

Hot Wheels: Velocity Vengeance (2024) - A team of racers-turned-vigilantes use their high-tech, superpowered Hot Wheels cars to fight crime in a sprawling urban landscape.

UNO: Quantum Champions (2026) - An interdimensional mishap pulls a group of friends into a universe ruled by the mechanics of UNO, where they develop special powers related to the cards and must use them to get home.

Thomas & Friends: Iron Horse Heroes (2027) - The engines of Sodor become sentient, gaining unique abilities and joining together to protect their island from villains who seek to exploit them.

Playmobil: The Curse of the Dark Kingdom (2029)

In a forgotten corner of the Playmobil world, an ancient evil awakens, turning the once vibrant kingdom into a desolate, haunted landscape. Residents begin to transform into terrifying creatures, their plastic smiles twisted into forms of horror. A band of courageous adventurers must journey through this dark kingdom, solve its chilling mystery, and lift the curse before their world is forever lost to darkness.

Doomsday Barbie: The Last Dreamhouse (2031) - In a post-apocalyptic world brought on by "The Glitter Fallout," Barbie has transformed from a fashion icon into a resilient warrior. Amid societal collapse and brutal factions, she embarks on a dangerous quest to locate "The Last Dreamhouse," a rumored sanctuary of hope in the desolate wasteland.

And who can forget the epic MCU: Mattel Militia (2033) - The ultimate crossover event, uniting characters from all previous films. They join forces to fight a cosmic threat endangering their entire universe.